the year is 2086
my grandchildren are gathered around my feet, asking me questions about my childhood
"who was your favourite singer when you were our age grandma?"
my daughter leaps to her feet in horror
i stand up and tear off my clothes to reveal a seashell bikini
"URANUS" i scream, throwing my zimmer frame aside
"DON’T YOU KNOW MY ASS IS FAMOUS?!?"
“American Music Awards 2013 received its highest audience rating since 2009, which happens to be the year Lady Gaga last performed.”